Death - when someone dies, it's tough. But what if that person, close to you, chooses suicide as the way to go? We are often wracked with guilt, ashamed to talk openly and questioning why we didn't see it coming. Suicide is often called the selfish death because of the impact on those left behind.
Countries are introducing various forms of medically assisted death (euthenasia or suicide) for those suffering previous and irremediable illnesses. Mental illness technically is included but the chance of it being permitted is low, as suffering only from a mental illness is typically excluded as is the case in Canada. Thus, for those with mental health conditions that resist treatment, medically assisted death is not an option.
Consider the case of a person with treatment resistant depression. They've tried it all and nothing gets better. They see no hope and life without hope is a tough struggle. Suicide becomes the best option from their perspective.
Many religions and societies condemn suicide creating the impossible choice - live with the pain or die in condemnation.
So what you may say, does this have to do with meditation? A lot. Meditation is a place of healing for those who have lost someone to suicide. It is a place to find their own lives as worthwhile and not limited by the emotional ties to the now deceased person. It is the moral, ethical view that causes death by suicide to be seen as wrong compared to many other forms of death. Regardless of the method, the person is gone. It is this truth that requires acknowledgment and acceptance. Suicide creates ambiguous loss (because of second guessing what might have been done to prevent it) but loss none the less. Feel the loss in meditation, be honest with yourself and grant permission to love and let go.
Meditation is also the place to know the pain that the deceased suffered. For most, suicide is not a sudden choice but one that has been contemplated over time. It gets ruled in as an option as more and more choices for improvement get ruled out.
In meditation, we become familiar with and honest with what we feel including the anger, resentment, grief and emptiness while seeking our path forward just in this moment. Understanding suicide is to reach across the divide between the self and the other to know their pain was beyond what they could now tolerate. It was not typically a selfish act but one of desperation in the face of un-relentless pain.
The Suicide
He died by suicide
Slipping into death
By pills squirrelled away
They all said, "How sad"
The eulogy lamented his passing
Really I thought
Grieve his life not his death
For living was all pain
Each moment wracked with sorrow
Dying was not wrong
Living was
Those who have stood at that precipice
Know the tipping point
Sometimes letting go
Spiralling down is right
Countries are introducing various forms of medically assisted death (euthenasia or suicide) for those suffering previous and irremediable illnesses. Mental illness technically is included but the chance of it being permitted is low, as suffering only from a mental illness is typically excluded as is the case in Canada. Thus, for those with mental health conditions that resist treatment, medically assisted death is not an option.
Consider the case of a person with treatment resistant depression. They've tried it all and nothing gets better. They see no hope and life without hope is a tough struggle. Suicide becomes the best option from their perspective.
Many religions and societies condemn suicide creating the impossible choice - live with the pain or die in condemnation.
So what you may say, does this have to do with meditation? A lot. Meditation is a place of healing for those who have lost someone to suicide. It is a place to find their own lives as worthwhile and not limited by the emotional ties to the now deceased person. It is the moral, ethical view that causes death by suicide to be seen as wrong compared to many other forms of death. Regardless of the method, the person is gone. It is this truth that requires acknowledgment and acceptance. Suicide creates ambiguous loss (because of second guessing what might have been done to prevent it) but loss none the less. Feel the loss in meditation, be honest with yourself and grant permission to love and let go.
Meditation is also the place to know the pain that the deceased suffered. For most, suicide is not a sudden choice but one that has been contemplated over time. It gets ruled in as an option as more and more choices for improvement get ruled out.
In meditation, we become familiar with and honest with what we feel including the anger, resentment, grief and emptiness while seeking our path forward just in this moment. Understanding suicide is to reach across the divide between the self and the other to know their pain was beyond what they could now tolerate. It was not typically a selfish act but one of desperation in the face of un-relentless pain.
The Suicide
He died by suicide
Slipping into death
By pills squirrelled away
They all said, "How sad"
The eulogy lamented his passing
Really I thought
Grieve his life not his death
For living was all pain
Each moment wracked with sorrow
Dying was not wrong
Living was
Those who have stood at that precipice
Know the tipping point
Sometimes letting go
Spiralling down is right
© Peter Choate, 2017
