Addiction and drug abuse issues are one of the most common problems in our society. A day does not go past without news stories on deaths arising from Fentanyl. It feels like an epidemic. Let us not lose sight of the many others who abuse other drugs, including alcohol.
It is a hotly debated topic these days, with Canada planning some form of legalization and various US states already having done so. Billions of dollars are spent on the war against drugs, although as Dr. Gabor Mate points out, it is really a war against those who suffer from the disease of addiction. This disease is also one with a very high rate of stigma. People suffering from the disease are seen as morally bankrupt, not worthy of the same kinds of medical support as other diseases and are the brunt of legal versus health interventions.
For the family or close friends of substance dependent people, they too find themselves struggling with the stigma - "how can you keep enabling?"; "There must be something going on in the family."; "Surely you don't let them come to your house, they will steal things". This leads to a feeling of isolation. When the person suffering is your child, then the stigma mounts up as you must have failed as a parent.
The stigma exists along with other stigmas that might relate to race, gender, social status, mental health and religion (to name a few). Rarely is there the stigma of the drug or alcohol use on its own. Family and friends carry a burden along with the person using.
There are some resources for family and friends such as the 12 step program Al-Anon. Many find that program difficult as they are not willing to step away. Others may find therapy helpful but so often, the message is don't enable which leads to severing or weakening the relationships between family, friends and the user. There are times when that might be needed but the shame and guilt that goes with it only adds to the pain.
Meditation becomes one way to cope. It helps to identify what matters in your own life, knowing what is and is not in your control (which is only the self) and getting to know your inner self that includes the existence of the pain and loss. When you have a user in your world, the grief is ambiguous - you know who they could be if sober; you know you love yet feel deprived and betrayed; you don't know how the story will end but fear the outcomes often.
Thus, meditation is about self care, self love and acceptance. We did not create the user, pain and trauma created that. We cannot heal the user but we can heal the self. As Karme Yeshe Rabgye notes, the only person you can truly know is yourself.
Detox
ER
Bed twenty
Eighteenth time
Beside your bed
i sit once more
Observe the sweat oozing from your skin
A familiar nurse
Pushes your IV needle in
Her face tired of yours.
Your body shakes
You moan in pain
Grasping your stomach swearing at the cramps
I get the look form the medic
The one that says I'm to blame
It's time to stop, time to end
To detox from you
But I stay, terrified
You will die, I will live.
© Peter Choate, 2016
It is a hotly debated topic these days, with Canada planning some form of legalization and various US states already having done so. Billions of dollars are spent on the war against drugs, although as Dr. Gabor Mate points out, it is really a war against those who suffer from the disease of addiction. This disease is also one with a very high rate of stigma. People suffering from the disease are seen as morally bankrupt, not worthy of the same kinds of medical support as other diseases and are the brunt of legal versus health interventions.
For the family or close friends of substance dependent people, they too find themselves struggling with the stigma - "how can you keep enabling?"; "There must be something going on in the family."; "Surely you don't let them come to your house, they will steal things". This leads to a feeling of isolation. When the person suffering is your child, then the stigma mounts up as you must have failed as a parent.
The stigma exists along with other stigmas that might relate to race, gender, social status, mental health and religion (to name a few). Rarely is there the stigma of the drug or alcohol use on its own. Family and friends carry a burden along with the person using.
There are some resources for family and friends such as the 12 step program Al-Anon. Many find that program difficult as they are not willing to step away. Others may find therapy helpful but so often, the message is don't enable which leads to severing or weakening the relationships between family, friends and the user. There are times when that might be needed but the shame and guilt that goes with it only adds to the pain.
Meditation becomes one way to cope. It helps to identify what matters in your own life, knowing what is and is not in your control (which is only the self) and getting to know your inner self that includes the existence of the pain and loss. When you have a user in your world, the grief is ambiguous - you know who they could be if sober; you know you love yet feel deprived and betrayed; you don't know how the story will end but fear the outcomes often.
Thus, meditation is about self care, self love and acceptance. We did not create the user, pain and trauma created that. We cannot heal the user but we can heal the self. As Karme Yeshe Rabgye notes, the only person you can truly know is yourself.
Detox
ER
Bed twenty
Eighteenth time
Beside your bed
i sit once more
Observe the sweat oozing from your skin
A familiar nurse
Pushes your IV needle in
Her face tired of yours.
Your body shakes
You moan in pain
Grasping your stomach swearing at the cramps
I get the look form the medic
The one that says I'm to blame
It's time to stop, time to end
To detox from you
But I stay, terrified
You will die, I will live.
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