The racism dialogues

It has been impossible to avoid the conversation of racism since the White Supremacist protest in the United States some days ago. There has been a lot of well deserved condemnation of the racist foundation to the protests. Collateral damage seems all around. The Rebel media in Canada has taken many targeted shots for their historical racially divisive dialogue. Yet, much of the conversation has been focused on the USA.

Racism is a systemic, societal belief that one version of a person, white, is inherently the standard against which all others are measured - starting with the belief that anyone other than white is at a level somewhere below. Those of us who are white do not even understand our advantages as they are so much a fabric of our existence that we are blind to how these advantages exist. In Calgary, Toronto, London or Washington, I do not walk down the street in fear that I will be targeted because of the colour of my skin. I do not go into a hardware, grocery or department store worried that I will be followed by security because of who I appear to be.

There are many other forms of discrimination but the major discourse after Charlottesville has been about race. Here in Canada, as an example, if you are Black in Toronto you worry about being carded. If you are Aboriginal you worry about going into a store - And if you are not white you worry that you will be mistreated in a variety of ways that are not about the quality of your person but the colour of your skin.

Racism exists at societal and system levels because people who make up and support power structures hold within themselves the beliefs that racial disparity is acceptable or, at the very least, not to be fought against. Crucial questions that might be contemplated in meditation include:

• Can I accept that a human is a human deserving of the same opportunities as myself?
• Can I look within and see where my beliefs lie that support differences between peoples?
• Can I trust myself to act in support of inclusion as opposed to separation?
• Can I allow myself to speak and not be silent when voice is needed?
• Can I accept that I am an ally but I will never really understand what it means to be divided?

Such questions are very consistent with meditation practice that is designed to increasingly know ourselves. As one Buddhist monk says, "The only person you can truly know is yourself". (Karma Yeshe Rabgye). I raise these questions as the growing divisive dialogue where hatred, oppression and racism seem to have an expanding license, needs challenging. The will and self understanding exists within and meditation is a vehicle to find it.

Script 

Do you live in a script 

Who writes it

Are you stage right, left or centre

Who gave you your lines

Dare to think weird

Pass it on

Creativity of life

Is not existing in the box

Who said your tale is true

Who perchance owns 

The story deemed to be the only one

Is it possible to hear

When only one reality is accepted 

We have walked together

Our lineages crossed

No purity breathes life

Our being is mutual presence

The universe cannot divide us

It is we who do this

Partition is death

Inquire of life

We are mutual beings

Ascendancy above you

Folklore hiding fraility

© Peter Choate, 2017

  

Ego versus altruism

"We are doing it this way, that's how I want it to be." It seems that, in various ways, this has become the theme song of our days. Greed, possessions, power and untethered disparity are written about in the news daily - if not multiple times per day.

Lying by politicians and others in power has become so common that it is trite to note the lying. The worry is that we have become so inured by lying that we sort of dismiss it, make jokes or let it slide by. Powerful liars don't seem to mind being caught. There is the "post truth" era; "alternative facts" and so on. Truth is becoming a value of rapidly diminishing worth.

Fake news even hits the supposed bastion of truth. Academia is struggling with this, not so much in the way of fraud, as exaggeration of results. It is only with sensational results or breakthroughs that many can find their way into top tier journals. Academia is also being plagued by fake or predatory journals.

Recent research has reaffirmed that children caught in bitter divorce and custody battles suffer long term emotional damage. Yet, courts are clogged with these protracted, bitter disputes.

As societies we honour the rich and profit. How many photos of any particular celebrity can be consumed in a day? Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat, Facebook are full of them as are other forms of media.

Why you might ask, does this matter to meditation. Well, philosophers from as far back as the Greeks, have been debating ego versus altruism. In ego, we allow the personal wants and desires to matter over any other need, even if it negatively impacts another. If ego were the only true emotion, then altruism could not exist as we would not care about others. If altruism were the only, then we would not care about the self. Only the other would matter.  For healthy positioning, we balance the two.

The imbalance in society and self leads to harm. Too much ego and pollution, destruction and wanton consumption takes over. Too much altruism, then the self gets ignored and the strength of care weakens. The self is destroyed.

Meditation allows us to find the balance. Care of self and care of others. Knowing within self where each of these emotions lies becomes our way of being in society. It also helps to step away from the significant egoist imbalances that seem to be so predominant at the this time.

Care transmitted

She walks into the room
Each night the ritual is performed
There her son lies
For the last time

Love exists but now shared
Upon waking he will prepare
To honour another love
Marriage

Weeks go by
She walks into the room
He must be well
The bed is empty

One day the bed is gone
She still walks in
Sure he will not be there
Does he look like the memory she holds

He returns one night
Baby in hand
Newly minted life
He talks of checking each night

© Peter Choate 2017   

The power of being with the "other" this coming Canada Day

Growing up, I was different. Sports did not really interest me despite attending a school where sports seemed central to everything - particularly basketball and football. There was room for wrestling, boxing and track and field but they were the second tier sports. A bicycle fascinated me but nobody saw that as being in any way connected to sports. I was also something of what would now be called, a "geek". Literature was a great place to be as it transformed me to other worlds and experiences. Fact is, I enjoyed reading and still do.

At home, there was often conversation about politics. There were some teachers at school where social action was a focus (not many, but some). The Catholic school I attended spoke about Biblical calls to action where the "less fortunate" deserved support. At the time, it was strictly a charitable works model but it instilled in me that there is a deep inequality in society.

I saw politics as the route where society could be changed. I was naive. I thought that government was a tool where society sought to make life for all better. At times that seemed true as Canada brought in things like universal health care, unemployment insurance and maternity leave. I really departed from both my family and religious script when it came to reproductive rights. At no time then or now did it make sense to me that society had a right to force a women through an unwanted pregnancy nor into a sexual, familial or intimate relationship where her needs were not equal. In retrospect, my views then (way back in the 60's) would still look misogynistic today. My view of politics then was more optimistic than it is today but I remain hopeful that there are many politicians still in Canada who are willing to try and make life better for all. When I say this, I am accused of optimistic naiveté - perhaps so.

I have an anger that must be tempered, however. Injustice has been as inherent in the nature of Canada as much as justice has been. The legacy of our treatment of Aboriginal peoples is atrocious and continues to be this very day.

Other blights include the Chinese Head Tax, internment of Japanese in WWII, refusal to take Jewish refugees in WWII era and the denial of entry to refugees on the Kogamata Maru. Today, if you are Black or Aboriginal, you have a much higher chance of encounters with police in Canada.

I grew up white, privileged and educated. I did not know Canada's legacy with racism and thought that moniker belonged to the USA with their legacy of racism. I was wrong then and I must be part of the solution now. Given my social position, for example, the Calls to Action of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission are for all Canadians - particularly for non-Aboriginal Canadians to change the social and legalistic structures of Canada that sustain oppression.

What you may say, has this to do with meditation. In my view - everything. When we oppress groups of people we create "others" who we can then stigmatize and separate. Meditation is a place to see how you relate to those that occupy this planet with you. It is where compassion can be found both for yourself and your co-travellers in life's journey. What we think and feel connects to action that either sustains or diminishes oppression - there is no neutral ground. In meditation, we connect to the origin of our beliefs, thoughts, actions and impact.

This coming weekend, in Canada we will celebrate the 150th Anniversary of Confederation - Canada Day. To borrow from Hemingway, ask "For whom the bell tolls" when you hear them calling us to celebration that day. There are many for whom this will not be a day of celebration but one in which their history and contribution to our lives will be forgotten or even worse, trivialized. There will be those for whom racism will still be a daily part of their life. Many will wake up to poverty again and as a society, it will also be day in which many will bear the scars of domestic violence again.

We should celebrate what we say Canada stands for but we must also stand up and demand that Canada act on those beliefs for all.

In meditation, connect compassionately to our fellow beings in Canada knowing that none of us can be separate from each other.

For most of us, there is the "other" in our lives - the group we do not like; the people who upset us; the coworkers whom we don't respect and so on. In meditation, try to find compassion for these "others"


Oh Canada

You are the home of my body
Born here
Growing up in your bosom
Fed to believe in your wonders

A nation of good people
We say sorry
Treasure politeness
Speak of justice

You cared for me
Brought me joy and nature
Told me stories of gold rush
Fish, lumber and oil

You raised me on peace and justice
Sent our soldiers to far shores
To sustain safety and security
For peoples I did not know

But Oh Canada, you also lied to me
You did not tell me of the racism
The denial of humanity to our brethren
The hiding away of those who were first here

You did not tell me of the theft
From those who founded the fishing village
Or the lives lost building the railway
That took me to Toronto to see family

Why did you tell me of justice
When racism was so alive
Why do you tell me of opportunity
When only those like me could get it

Why did you deny the truth
Yelling for justice by sending peace keepers
When depriving our true founding peoples
Oh Canada who are you

You are both the country I so want
And the nation I so regret
Oh Canada celebrate
With the pathway of true justice

Oh Canada
Be of who is possible
Not who is easy
Make me uncomfortable

Toss to me the challenge of change
Make us all believe again
Show us that we deserve to celebrate
Oh Canada stand on guard for all of us

© Peter Choate 2017

Owning it!

I was sitting in a park recently when two kids had a spat. Their mother came over to intervene when one shouted that the other had mad her mad. How often have you heard that? In the current political environment, it would not be long before you can hear someone suggest that Trump (or some other politician) makes them so mad.

There are lots of reasons to be mad at Trump (and a load of other political, social and economic leaders). The point is, of course, that the anger is yours and mine. Other people do not own our emotional states - only we do. In society today, there seems to be a reduction in ownership for emotional states and the reactions connected to them.

“But feelings can't be ignored, no matter how unjust or ungrateful they seem.”  Anne Franke

Owning our own emotions matters as it is also a way to manage our ego. Ego is, in many real ways, the avoidance of our emotions as it is about believing that what we think we want is all that matters. We can see this in many kinds of relationships where there is a lack of mutuality. Think of the difference in the expressions - "I feel that some time with you over a cup of coffee" - versus - "have coffee with me I need to talk." One is owning what you would like and requesting it, the other is demanding because the ego wants it. This becomes very obvious in dominating, abusive relationships where the ego of one is that matters.

When the ego takes over, we detach from the emotional expression of self and the emotional needs of others. This is when how another is affected by your behaviour becomes unimportant or small. The role of the other person becomes not about what is good for them or even both of you, only what you want matters even at the expense of the other person. There becomes no choice between what the ego wants and what the other person feels or needs - the ego must always win out.

“The ego is the false self-born out of fear and defensiveness.”  - John O'Donohue 

The ego out of control is the abuser in action.

When we allow ego to dominate, we lose sight of relationship, our place in the world and the obligation we have to own the impact we have on others. You may not agree with these statements but reflect upon the role of ego (I am right) versus the role of relationship (We both have needs):

• Don't you dare spend that money unless I've told you it's ok!
• If people want health care, get a job!
• The Indian Residential Schools don't matter - they occurred long ago, just get over it!
• Alcoholics are weak and they just need to stop drinking!
• You aren't working out hard enough because you don't have the abs!

I'm willing to bet that you can add a dozen more statements like this with ease. Not only does ego drive this thinking but so also is a lack of compassion. It is very hard to care for another if your belief is that what you need is all that matters.

Meditation is a place to nurture compassion and come to realize that all you do is linked to outcomes for others. When its "all about me" then it is "not about the other".  Can you feel that in meditation and own it?

"The square root of I is I" - Nabokov 

The ego of one or the place of compassion amongst many?

Mine

Walking amongst the Jasmine
I smell the perfume
It brings treasured memories
The aroma is mine

I place my face into the blossom
Breathe deeply
Hold the essence in my nostrils
It is all mine

Walking away I take it with me
Reminiscing about past connections
Surely I can hold on to this
And share it with no-one


 © Peter Choate 2017

Attacked.....traumatized....hopeful

First responders, social workers and health care professionals get into their occupations to make a positive difference in the lives of people, families, communities and society at large. For each one of them, there will be magical moments when the dream happens - a child's life is better; a rescue occurs; a life saved. It is then that the choice of profession makes the most sense.

There are also times when the opposite happens. Given the nature of the work, it is impossible to avoid tragic, traumatic moments. The good outcomes are remembered, retold and celebrated. The bad ones haunt, creeping into dreams, waking in the middle of the night or suddenly felt when one event brings back the unforgettable images of a past one.

These polar opposites sandwich many very ordinary experiences that just don't seem to be great or terrible.

Every profession has some people who should not be there - the police officer with racist thoughts; the paramedic who no longer cares; the social worker for whom the alcoholic parent is not worth the effort --- but, they are very much the minority even though they are typically the ones that will make headlines. The vast majority in these profession go to work each day with the hope of doing good. Thus, when they get attacked the harm is that much greater - the social worker who did all they knew how to do but a child died; the ER nurse who sat with the family whose member died; the police officer attending a fatal event.

What are we to do with the attacks that come from people who just don't get the work or who were called out because of their own behaviours and then choose to seek some kind of revenge. Their goal is malevolent maliciousness as they cannot hold on to being self responsible.

It is the success cases that cause people to enter the work and stay there. As a society, it is vital to support those who do good work but who face tragedy as well as those maligned. These are hard jobs. We hear of the fire fighters in London who now comb through the remains of Grenfell Tower looking for bodies; the police officers who responded to the attacks on London Bridge; the police officers responding near Calgary to the armed robbery; the child protection worker who must face a child tonight and tell them they are leaving the family home or the shelter worker who will find the dead client. If society wants these jobs done, society must support those who do them and watch carefully when attacks occur.

These people also work in systems.  Will the electorate be prepared to insist on change so that oppression, racism, misogyny and so on can be challenged?

So then how does meditation work into this? I sat listening to a worker who spoke of a colleague's suicide; of a foster parent speaking about valiant efforts to make a difference in the lives of children coming into the home; of an Aboriginal elder speaking of the burden of racism and trauma. All require healing through prayer, ceremony, peer support and self care practices such as meditation. To be good at the work over time, requires that we know ourselves, our strengths and our vulnerabilities. We must also be able to spot when our internal resources are waning. Here too meditation can help as we come to know the size of our coping container and try to keep it healthy.

The truth I know

Dawn came but the sun did not rise
Fog in my head hid it away
Birds sang in the morning light
The song could not be heard
The melody off key to the ears

That smell, unmistakable, but why here
looking for the maggots
They always came with the stench
Eerily leading to the site of death
No maggots, no death, no stench
Just the shards of them in my brain

Not leaving is that having been seen
The trail of each occasion on top of the other
The litter of damage left by the ones
The ones whose tragedy lives within them
Tolerated only by rage
Tossed to others when within explodes

Love has been lost
Tenderness furiously hoped for
Despondently denied with only ranting frenzy left
Loneliness the escort to the wrath felt daily
Feeling righteous justice sought
Never won as your world appreciated by only you

The barrier to reprieve locked away
Fury, hate and revenge having become
The only companions who will walk with you
Compassion offered but imperceptible
Now beyond reach appealing no more
Trauma owns all that you are, unless

Reprieve is there for you
Caress its image, let the ghosts fade
Even with trepidation take the step
Forfeit the guilt, relinquish the shame
The sacrifice is over let blessing arrive
What has been done yielded to joy lying dormant

© Peter Choate, 2017