Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you really wanted to explain how you feel - but were afraid to? Worried about being judged? Convinced it would lead to an unpleasant outcome? There are certainly times when keeping our opinion to ourselves makes sense. In our society, however, being able to truly tell people how you feel is treacherous territory.
For generations, we have been telling people things like, "stiff upper lip", "boys don't cry", "pick yourself up and get on with it" or, as Frank Sinatra said:
But don't let people know how you really feel, how hurt you are, how betrayed you feel or even how much you are feeling like giving up.
Imagine you are on a plane, watching a movie that really impacts you - do you let yourself cry? Most people will say no or, if they say yes, they will find some socially appropriate way to downplay it - "Sad movies always make me cry."
In my view, we are at a place were honest emotion is needed rather than emotions that tie to a particular political mantra. We are too much in the you are wrong and I am right dialogue these days. What if we can really connect, instead, to what we feel - people out of work; children injured and suffering; refugees fleeing desperate civil wars; as well as personal tragedies such as a man who I know who committed suicide recently.
The pattern of hiding what we feel starts in childhood and becomes engrained. In my growing up, I learned not to let anyone know if I was not feeling safe or I was afraid - that led to more bullying as then I was seen as weak. These patterns carry on into adulthood distancing us from people even very close.
Meditation offers us a chance to know how we are truly feeling using the body to tell us what's going on and granting permission for our emotions to speak to us. In other words, it allows us to be human especially to our own self. Vulnerability to the self, or as Brene Brown states:
To find the soul
Reach into the body
Feel the pain
Where fear resides
Look to the place
Where love might bloom
The heart
The centre of existence
Loss is searing
Bursting the gut
Tearing away the strength
Collapsing the legs
Eyes water
Sight fogs
The head pounds
Dizziness abounds
Crawl the pathway
Touch the soul
Caress the life
That you possess
For generations, we have been telling people things like, "stiff upper lip", "boys don't cry", "pick yourself up and get on with it" or, as Frank Sinatra said:
Take a deep breath, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
But don't let people know how you really feel, how hurt you are, how betrayed you feel or even how much you are feeling like giving up.
Imagine you are on a plane, watching a movie that really impacts you - do you let yourself cry? Most people will say no or, if they say yes, they will find some socially appropriate way to downplay it - "Sad movies always make me cry."
In my view, we are at a place were honest emotion is needed rather than emotions that tie to a particular political mantra. We are too much in the you are wrong and I am right dialogue these days. What if we can really connect, instead, to what we feel - people out of work; children injured and suffering; refugees fleeing desperate civil wars; as well as personal tragedies such as a man who I know who committed suicide recently.
The pattern of hiding what we feel starts in childhood and becomes engrained. In my growing up, I learned not to let anyone know if I was not feeling safe or I was afraid - that led to more bullying as then I was seen as weak. These patterns carry on into adulthood distancing us from people even very close.
Meditation offers us a chance to know how we are truly feeling using the body to tell us what's going on and granting permission for our emotions to speak to us. In other words, it allows us to be human especially to our own self. Vulnerability to the self, or as Brene Brown states:
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”
To find the soul
Reach into the body
Feel the pain
Where fear resides
Look to the place
Where love might bloom
The heart
The centre of existence
Loss is searing
Bursting the gut
Tearing away the strength
Collapsing the legs
Eyes water
Sight fogs
The head pounds
Dizziness abounds
Crawl the pathway
Touch the soul
Caress the life
That you possess
© Peter Choate,
2017
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