Say your name out loud - what do you hear? Say it to a friend - what do they hear? There is no neutrality to our presence - not even our name. Our existence is a statement of a place in this world. What we do impacts self and others. There is no neutral act. When we make a statement, whether the audience is the self or others, the statement has meaning - again no neutrality.
Everything about us has impacts!
I was thinking about this today as I sat in a coffee shop. Two guys came in, one holding a cup from a different coffee shop. He threw it out and then he and his colleague sat down, plugged in their electronics and proceeded to use the space while buying nothing. In some ways, they stole money from the coffee shop by using already crowded space and the electricity. As there were places available, did they think about their impact. Possibly - I will never know. But then I realized that, regardless of their motivations, I was impacted and was then talking to my wife about it. She was then impacted. The trickle effect.
The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron uses a term that resonates with me - shenpa. In essence, this means that actions, thoughts, ideas all begin a cascade - one event upon another. Within self, we are the ones who can either stop the cascade or carry it on. Clearly, I carried it on but, to what purpose. My thinking did not change their behaviours - it only impinged upon myself.
This is so true of us as humans that we begin acting and reacting without giving ourselves time to consider. Anger - lash out; envy - get even; annoyance - ruminate; betrayal - plot. The same is true of happy emotion. There are so many things that cause us to react and we so desperately want to be in control when acceptance is all we have. Me, myself and I are all that I can truly know and even then, control is often hard to grasp. We may not control what we feel but we can know it and accept that truth - however ugly.
Acceptance is particularly hard when we see injustice and cannot change it. Even harder is the seeing of death that won't be avoided but could have been prevented. In social work, we see this often - murder, suicide, addiction, mental health, domestic violence. Acceptance should not be confused with permission or condoning. Accepting that racism exists is not giving permission but knowing that the only racism you can control is your own. By actions, we personally demonstrate a morality and thus, are not neutral but we cannot stop another from being racist, an addict and so on.
Meditation is a process where we let reality of the moment just be. Not easy. I know that I am far less reactive because of meditation but far more reactive than I would like to be.
Life is a journey and the best fork in the road is not always chosen but we will come to another intersection and get to make a different choice. It is not beating yourself up when you react, but being compassionate awaiting the moment for the next choice without judgment.
Only I
The moment is dark
There is no guidance
I am alone
I beg for light
Yet none comes
I must grip in the darkness
Feeling each step
I move somewhere
Uncertain of where
The silence explodes
Nothing to be heard
Everything imagined
I reach out to touch
Finding only emptiness
My hand pulls back
I hear my breath
I touch my body
I am what there is
Everything about us has impacts!
I was thinking about this today as I sat in a coffee shop. Two guys came in, one holding a cup from a different coffee shop. He threw it out and then he and his colleague sat down, plugged in their electronics and proceeded to use the space while buying nothing. In some ways, they stole money from the coffee shop by using already crowded space and the electricity. As there were places available, did they think about their impact. Possibly - I will never know. But then I realized that, regardless of their motivations, I was impacted and was then talking to my wife about it. She was then impacted. The trickle effect.
The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron uses a term that resonates with me - shenpa. In essence, this means that actions, thoughts, ideas all begin a cascade - one event upon another. Within self, we are the ones who can either stop the cascade or carry it on. Clearly, I carried it on but, to what purpose. My thinking did not change their behaviours - it only impinged upon myself.
This is so true of us as humans that we begin acting and reacting without giving ourselves time to consider. Anger - lash out; envy - get even; annoyance - ruminate; betrayal - plot. The same is true of happy emotion. There are so many things that cause us to react and we so desperately want to be in control when acceptance is all we have. Me, myself and I are all that I can truly know and even then, control is often hard to grasp. We may not control what we feel but we can know it and accept that truth - however ugly.
Acceptance is particularly hard when we see injustice and cannot change it. Even harder is the seeing of death that won't be avoided but could have been prevented. In social work, we see this often - murder, suicide, addiction, mental health, domestic violence. Acceptance should not be confused with permission or condoning. Accepting that racism exists is not giving permission but knowing that the only racism you can control is your own. By actions, we personally demonstrate a morality and thus, are not neutral but we cannot stop another from being racist, an addict and so on.
Meditation is a process where we let reality of the moment just be. Not easy. I know that I am far less reactive because of meditation but far more reactive than I would like to be.
Life is a journey and the best fork in the road is not always chosen but we will come to another intersection and get to make a different choice. It is not beating yourself up when you react, but being compassionate awaiting the moment for the next choice without judgment.
Only I
The moment is dark
There is no guidance
I am alone
I beg for light
Yet none comes
I must grip in the darkness
Feeling each step
I move somewhere
Uncertain of where
The silence explodes
Nothing to be heard
Everything imagined
I reach out to touch
Finding only emptiness
My hand pulls back
I hear my breath
I touch my body
I am what there is
© Peter
Choate 2017
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