I have been a member of a child intervention panel for some months now. Today, in our meetings we had an opportunity to interact directly with people who have been involved in child protection. This is not new territory for me as I have been working with people whose children have been apprehended by child protection workers for many years. Indeed, I have been a social worker since 1975. A long time!
Yet, the reality of what people survive continues to impact me. Today I heard amazing stories of trauma, survival, coping and resilience. People whose childhoods were marked by abandonment, neglect, abuse, assault - and yet also survival, coping and recovery. These have been stories of the incredible pain that some inflict on others. The bravery of coming to a complete stranger and telling of the trauma inflicted in childhood is amazing. I am in awe of the capacity of the people I met today to reach in and tell. I am honoured to have been trusted with the stories.
I am a witness. This is needed. To tell a story of these magnitudes, the audience must be wiling to listen, otherwise there is only the pain of telling. Instead, what we offer is validation that says not only are you believed but also respected for being the human who survives.
There is no end to the pain that some inflict on others. Witnesses are essential. Giving space for the telling of truth matters. This is what we do as social workers. To be a witness requires that we also engage in self care. Meditation is such an opportunity. I cannot be a witness otherwise. When a women tells you of sexual assault; another speaks of alcohol as medication to take away the pain of neglect and abuse; when another speaks of a child lost and yet another talks about the broken self that exists after sexual assault. Witnesses must be strong in order to stand beside the survivors and give them true opportunity to know they speak their truth.
In meditation, I must find my truth. I must allow the pain of others to not be my pain while acknowledging that their truth exists and I am changed by it. I, like so many others, are drawn to social work because of our own painful journeys. Meditation is a place to know that pain within me while also seeing my recovery, resilience and fragility. I am a flawed self as also are the people I heard today. In meditation, there is space for both they and I.
To be known
I saw your eyes
the pain within
covered by the smile
You told me
of the abuse
As tears snuck out
Kleenex sought
Eyes diverted
The downward stare
We sat closely
I could hear the breath
Held to stop the crying
Loss spoken about
life once known
But now denied
It is within your cells
and mixed
the moment when we were both one
Walking away
My back turned
You will never leave me
Yet we will never again meet
Having left the intersection
But paths crossed
Your strength
and weakness cohabitants
Teaching me
Yet, the reality of what people survive continues to impact me. Today I heard amazing stories of trauma, survival, coping and resilience. People whose childhoods were marked by abandonment, neglect, abuse, assault - and yet also survival, coping and recovery. These have been stories of the incredible pain that some inflict on others. The bravery of coming to a complete stranger and telling of the trauma inflicted in childhood is amazing. I am in awe of the capacity of the people I met today to reach in and tell. I am honoured to have been trusted with the stories.
I am a witness. This is needed. To tell a story of these magnitudes, the audience must be wiling to listen, otherwise there is only the pain of telling. Instead, what we offer is validation that says not only are you believed but also respected for being the human who survives.
There is no end to the pain that some inflict on others. Witnesses are essential. Giving space for the telling of truth matters. This is what we do as social workers. To be a witness requires that we also engage in self care. Meditation is such an opportunity. I cannot be a witness otherwise. When a women tells you of sexual assault; another speaks of alcohol as medication to take away the pain of neglect and abuse; when another speaks of a child lost and yet another talks about the broken self that exists after sexual assault. Witnesses must be strong in order to stand beside the survivors and give them true opportunity to know they speak their truth.
In meditation, I must find my truth. I must allow the pain of others to not be my pain while acknowledging that their truth exists and I am changed by it. I, like so many others, are drawn to social work because of our own painful journeys. Meditation is a place to know that pain within me while also seeing my recovery, resilience and fragility. I am a flawed self as also are the people I heard today. In meditation, there is space for both they and I.
To be known
I saw your eyes
the pain within
covered by the smile
You told me
of the abuse
As tears snuck out
Kleenex sought
Eyes diverted
The downward stare
We sat closely
I could hear the breath
Held to stop the crying
Loss spoken about
life once known
But now denied
It is within your cells
and mixed
the moment when we were both one
Walking away
My back turned
You will never leave me
Yet we will never again meet
Having left the intersection
But paths crossed
Your strength
and weakness cohabitants
Teaching me
© Peter Choate 2017
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