You invited me here

You invited me here

It was not my choice

but why

I look at you over there

I express the hope that you will give me voice

but why

I reach out across the space   knowing you are there

my presence may cause you to rejoice

but why

You look over across the air

You know that to touch me is   being forced  upon you without choice

but why

My presence here

No longer cause you to rejoice

but why 

I have learned that you do not really invite me here

The accident left you without choice

but why

You want to push me away from here

I came from you but neither of us had a choice

but why

Can you find a way to love  me here

Or am I to be left with no place or voice

but why

In this poem we see the real sense of loss that comes with the life of those not wanted, not loved or perhaps even tolerated. They have come to see the true loss that will overcome their existence but knowing or understanding is left without an answer. When living unconsciously or reactively it is this deep loss that powers emotions and behaviours. Love is hard to find and when discovered can only be done from a egoistic perspective as reciprocity in relationships was not developed. 

In the photo, the mother cares for her child. As humans, we feel deep trauma wounds when that care is either not offered, done so in a heavily conditional way or is lost.

When we feel these deep trauma wounds chaos, panic, fear arise. Being in the now and finding that we can be just here, observing begins to change how we react. It is knowing that we can be ok in the moment, that we begin to diminish the power of our wounds. Why begins to no longer matter. 

In meditation we can look just at now and gain the peace of the moment by breathing in and feeling the breath arriving and then slowly letting go. By repeating this, we let go.

© Peter Choate, 2016

So I bring compassion

My tears bring compassion

You seek to attack me

So I cry

You seek to thrust upon me your trauma

So I cry

You seek to solve your hurt through me

So I cry

You seek to make me responsible for you anger

So I cry

I seek to see your hurt

So I bring compassion

I seek to find why you hurt

So I bring compassion

I seek to see your suffering

So I bring compassion

I seek to see you that you can suffer less

So I bring compassion

But I too can be hurt

But I bring compassion for both of us

There is no choice

So I must open my compassion

(c) Peter Choate, 2016

The sea of flowers draws our attention. The sunflowers blossom together with a blanket of aroma and colours. We cannot help but feel the beauty and connect with inner memories related to moments when we recall a place, a smell, a visual that brought us a moment of joy. We can breath in and feel that moment again as it can exist in the present through our memories. But what we recall is not what we experienced in the past but is what we experience now - it is a different experience. The joy is in having the experience as a "now" experience.

Finding ways to draw immediately into brief meditations of joy, from what is available to us now, are even more powerful. The sunflower from the past will not be as amazing as the smallest of things you can notice at this very moment.

How many flowers are there? What is different about each one? What does each one tell you? Only presence of now can answer that.

I write this on July 16, 2016 - the world is in turmoil. There has been a terrorist attack in Nice a few days ago, today there is uprising in Turkey and our news is full of local tragedies. But if they become our story for the day then we invite inward pain and agony. Finding joy in the moment will help us deal with the reality of suffering by knowing that there are stories of both pain and joy in our lives.

© Peter Choate, 2016

Nandree - Thank You

The picture above was given to me by a young women passionate about art as therapy and as a way to express what we feel. It is a Tamil word that says "Thank You". It is a position that we do not spend enough time on each day - being thankful. It is easy to not take time to look inside for thankfulness. We tend to be preoccupied with work, duties, chores, and just keeping busy, keeping away from self.

Take a few moments in your day and just stop, look and see around you. Who is just looking besides you? Who is noticing what is around them? Are you?

Thankfulness can be found when you take a moment and look to even the tiniest signs of beauty that is near you. Bet thankful for this moment of beauty.

Another way to see beauty is to look into the picture above. What colours draw you? Which aspects calm you? Which designed fascinate you? Meditate for this moment on a slight piece of beauty you see around you or in the picture above.

© Peter Choate, 2016