You invited me here

You invited me here

It was not my choice

but why

I look at you over there

I express the hope that you will give me voice

but why

I reach out across the space   knowing you are there

my presence may cause you to rejoice

but why

You look over across the air

You know that to touch me is   being forced  upon you without choice

but why

My presence here

No longer cause you to rejoice

but why 

I have learned that you do not really invite me here

The accident left you without choice

but why

You want to push me away from here

I came from you but neither of us had a choice

but why

Can you find a way to love  me here

Or am I to be left with no place or voice

but why

In this poem we see the real sense of loss that comes with the life of those not wanted, not loved or perhaps even tolerated. They have come to see the true loss that will overcome their existence but knowing or understanding is left without an answer. When living unconsciously or reactively it is this deep loss that powers emotions and behaviours. Love is hard to find and when discovered can only be done from a egoistic perspective as reciprocity in relationships was not developed. 

In the photo, the mother cares for her child. As humans, we feel deep trauma wounds when that care is either not offered, done so in a heavily conditional way or is lost.

When we feel these deep trauma wounds chaos, panic, fear arise. Being in the now and finding that we can be just here, observing begins to change how we react. It is knowing that we can be ok in the moment, that we begin to diminish the power of our wounds. Why begins to no longer matter. 

In meditation we can look just at now and gain the peace of the moment by breathing in and feeling the breath arriving and then slowly letting go. By repeating this, we let go.

© Peter Choate, 2016