Divide and Fail

I have been thinking a great deal about the role that stigma plays in the daily lives of so many people. Stigma is a way in which we "other" people - in other words, you don't belong because of (fill in the blank). Some might see it as "us" and "everyone else".

I see stigma operating in a number of ways, but some that have been the focus of my meditation lately include:

• acting as a platform to not give services - this might seem contradictory, but if you can classify people by problem, then you can limit what services become available to them. 
• acting as a way to keep a group out of the mainstream - in Canada, we have certainly seen this with First Nations peoples who have been framed as "less than" in a myriad of ways.
• as a way to isolate - you belong over there not here. Over there is non-inclusive and isolating.
• affirming differences in a way that makes those differences lacking in value - black, gay, trans, Muslim, etc etc - These are differences that are very powerful as they define the person in a way that ensures they can never belong - they will always be "other".
• asserting power over groups by using membership criteria to determine who belongs where - those with power use such definitions as a way to hold on to power. A good example is seen in human rights movements - those for whom human rights are being demanded require that the power structures be prepared to share or diminish their hold on power.
• access to power structures - who you are defined to be reflect which doors to power will be available to you.
• controlling the definition of correct - when you meet the criteria then you are "good" person but otherwise you are "bad", "deficient", "unworthy", "pitied".
• mechanisms to create internal senses of deficiency - for the person who is part of the "other" they internalize the sense of inferiority. Stigma reinforces shame and guilt acting as way in which the person solidifies the stigma within. They become their own oppressor.
• defining diversity - this word is used a lot - seeking diversity; creating diversity; ensuring diversity. Think carefully and you recognize the inherent stigma - diverse from what? The answer is, diverse from the dominant group - who does not give up dominance but rather agrees to share some piece of it (think of the "token" person). This permits the power structures a "free pass" because they argue inclusiveness by the presence of a "diverse" person.

I am sure that, as you read this, many more examples come to mind. Certainly, the politics and language of stigma appear to be gaining greater permission to openly express and behave in ways that support division. Why, however, does this matter to meditation?

In meditation, we seek to know and understand the self. What is that we hold onto? How do our thoughts interfere with right action? What belief structures exist within us that sustain the "othering" of people? How do our thoughts and actions support power structures of oppression?

We also come to know that most of us possess patterns that are stigma oriented - both as a stigmatizer and as a stigmatized. Meditation opens up how we feel as being "othered" and even ways in which we seek revenge or getting people to know how they have hurt us.

When we allow division, we fail. Selfishness, ego, anger, domination and other similar emotional states must take charge - as "othering" requires that we dislike, hate, demean. "Othering" cannot be found in love, care, inclusion, for example. Meditation is peaceful searching for our truth which can include states of being, ways of knowing that are not right thinking or right behaving. It is the search for acceptance of both self and others. Thus, when we see things to be critical of, it is the state of that human being that must be understood with efforts not to diminish but to help for truth to be seen. Success is not creating another divide by claiming that the lack of right action should exclude the person - rather, how do we include?

These are some of the most difficult emotions I find in meditation. For they reflect self and intersection with the ways of those also in the world with me.

The fear of I

The greatest fear is

What lies within

Born of childhood and

generational patterns

Raised to be white

To be shown this is right

Not to question

Learning to obey the rituals

The enclave of belonging

Comes from being white

Defending the border

So our territory stood

Cross not the line

Separating us from them

Know your place

Avoid contamination

A good Catholic boy

Taught the lessons of Christ

Growing as a believer

Fighting the contradictions

How could love be restricted 

Only to those who looked like me

While all others were savages

And heathens to be converted

The clergy spoke of success

Bringing many into the life of God

Letting go of their sinful pasts

But never seen in my parish

Marching for civil rights

Obscured the confusion 

Of Bible and Church

Without including the others

Conscience could be calmed

Guilt assuaged

By clamouring for change

In places not here

These patterns so soundly built

As cement set for a lifetime

Not to be questioned

Only to be dressed in finery

The earthquake explodes

Structures collapse

Beliefs not longer valid

From simply knowing the other

Humanity opens itself

To a sweeping truth 

Not of difference but 

Of similarity 

Now this is seen

So why as white so oft hated

When change is sought

Is escape possible from the patterns of power

The template of childhood

Does not go away

The privilege of behaviour

Rests with self knowing

As the search goes on

Inside views are murky and scary 

The lanes and streets already walked

Littered with the detritus of division

Can the pilgrim

Walk the journey

No longer unpalatable to the other

Still knowing the claim to white is perpetual

© Peter Choate, 2017

When pain stays

As we approach the holiday season, there are gestures of kindness that seem to be missing at other times of the year. People gather as families for celebrations; church goers congregate for worship; stores and malls dress up while homes are often adorned with lights sparkling in the night. For many, holidays are times of joy, reconnection and times of remembrance about life priorities. Music, both seasonal and religious, can be heard in most public places.

The season is also one of loneliness and despair for millions of people carrying the burdens of pain and traumas experienced along their journey. A special dinner will be at a shelter if such a dinner is to be had. It will often be served by those who assuage their need to be seen as "giving" and who appear with children to volunteer. This is not to diminish the value of their time. To the contrary, for sure. For those receiving, they will know that tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow (to borrow a phrase from Shakespeare) will be the continuance of their pain. 

Yet, we need not single out those struggling in less fortunate situations - many with means hide from heir traumas during holiday celebrations putting on faces and costumes of deceit. Resources can aid their personal process - services that less fortunate struggle to find.

As a society, we have entered an intersection we have been at many times, although this time it feels rather acute. Politicians sowing seeds of hatred, division and dominance; refugees flooding the world at levels not seen for decades; economic uncertainty arising from Brexit and Trump; disempowered escalating their voices through ballot boxes and protests. 

For the weakest in our societies, the mere act of survival demands so much energy that worry about public policy and international relations is far beyond their realities. As Syria is showing us, they can also be the most affected. 

Here in Canada, as we have been thinking of the results of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission Calls to Action, we have heard much discourse and little change. Intergenerational trauma in Indigenous Canadians remains largely unaddressed by society at large. Large numbers of Canadians are not even really aware of the depth of individual and collective trauma still sits in Indigenous peoples from the Colonization that occurred across this land. We can never know the depth of pain in others but we can be open to its truth and presence - and we can listen to the story which must be told.

In meditation, this is an urgent time to reflect upon peace, change and our personal role in society. We may be one drop in the ocean. Giving up, detaching or believing that change is not possible is really not an option. To do so is to increasingly hand power to those lacking in foresight for a better word or see the future in greed. Meditation connects to personal accountability for what we place into the world. 

Sarah

The pinnacle of copulation achieved

He pulled away, still dripping

Grabbed the edge of the bed

Avoiding a drunken fall

She lay still absent of pleasure

Her expression fixed with agony

As though stuck in the moment 

Now feeling unwanted sobriety

Such was the moment of conception

Unplanned, unwanted

By two souls whose connection was never sought

never again to meet

Nine months and five days passed

Sarah arrived greeted by maternal misery

A burden carried through

Alcoholic regret

No dreams of future

No plans for arrival 

A life of uncertain place

But Sarah's life still so

Conceived in pain

Born in loss

Nurtured in despair

Sarah learned to exist

So soon she entered her mother's path

A pothole filled gravel road without destination

Upon which travel was lonely and meaningless

Offering but a few hopeless way stations

Destiny offered no hope

So why this life, why this Sarah?

A flawed gift of the Creator

Could surely not be the answer

Regardless 

She carries within her

The hard truth of the moment

When entry to this world was demanded

What voice, what power

Could so insist that she must come

Upon this planet 

From a moment so loveless

© Peter Choate, 2016

Trump and meditation

The title of this post may immediately seem a contradiction. As I was meditating this morning, though, it is evident that more of this connection is needed. We are seeing growing passions, pro and con, following the American election. In some sense, we are seeing a nation divided.

An editorial on the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) this morning talks of similar divides in Europe. We have seen Brexit and there are elections coming up in Germany, Austria, France and a referendum in Italy. There is much foment about.

Being politically aware and engaged is a good thing. It is also the source of much emotional upset within self and within and between groups. Without meditation and contemplation, we increasingly become impulsively driven by the disagreements and divisions. We begin to lose our way to reasoned intervention failing instead to the kinds of behaviours that lead to further division.

There is no question we need to protect all peoples regardless of race, gender, sexual identity, health status, economic position. Here is Canada, we face a particularly powerful moment as we, as a collective nation, must address our own history of violent, oppressive racism. The results of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission call us to action to repair and redress the history. Canadians must be careful to not call out other nations if ignoring or failing to act on its own challenges.

Meditation grounds us. It affords us the opportunity to see peace within and to find our place in the broader discussion of society. What seemed such a good idea, after meditation and reflection, may not seem so. Rather, the way may be clearer as we just sit with our emotions and allow pathways to evolve.

Society is in desperate need of meditation based reflection, thought and conversation. We are awash in rhetoric, anger, revenge and impulsivity. Ask what personal price you will pay if anger, revenge, hatred or despair become your internal dialogue. Politics today is inviting this. Engaging it is not without real payment required. How can you engage in a way that adds without destroying? How can you engage without internal harm? Where are the points of action that will make true change possible even if at a very local level? How will you treat the person who today is afraid of their place in society? Finding answers from within to those sorts of questions may be where your true power lies. Falling for the political rhetoric may instead bring internal crazy making.

I sit
I am
I be

I see my place
Here and
Everywhere

I am a force
But not alone
And not silent

I add to the direction
Of safety and welcome
Bringing together

Division hurts
Divide destroys
Understanding is hard

Listening
Thinking
Including

© Peter Choate, 2016